This is not a bomb.

The thing you are looking at is a:

  • medical device
  • piece of trash
  • scientific instrument
  • child's toy
  • global positioning system
  • steampunk toaster
  • portable music/video player
  • work of art
  • college student's research project
  • sex toy
  • laptop computer
  • cell phone
  • kitchen appliance
  • radio

It is therefore not necessary for you to

  • Cordon off the area
  • Divert traffic
  • Evacuate the building
  • Blow it up
  • Trigger a terror alert
  • Alert Fatherland Security
  • Notify the media
  • Round up the usual suspects
  • Cause widespread panic
  • Call in SWAT teams
  • Shut down the {airport, station, highway, city}
  • Hold a press conference
  • Explain it (in words of less than three syllables) to the Shrub
  • Identify, locate and arrest a scapegoat
Usage instructions: Check off applicable entries in left column. Attach to device. Hope for the best. Send lawyers, guns and money.
Disclaimer: Not a substitute for intelligence, cultural awareness or common sense. Void in Boston.

Copyright 2007.